Well, everyone accepts the fact that birthday's are always special, so exciting and so looked forward to.. But somehow down the line I had lost the inborn nature of everyone, and never looked forward to my birthdays.. maybe life took me through some of the most treacherous curves that I stopped believing in special things.. So this birthday of mine was no different.. I kept reminding myself that am too old to be celebrating birthdays.. but harshu (that's my friend) had other thoughts.. maybe it was her age, maybe it was her bubbly nature.. she kicked off a countdown to my birthday and everyday morning and evening kept reminding me of it... I felt it was funny, although it was so cute of her to do it.. Well, the countdown eventually ran out.. and it was finally the dawn of the so called b'day.. Little did I know that the day had a lot of surprises for me, both good and bad...The day dawned and paddy was the first to give me a call, and claim the title of "First wisher of the day"... I was so happy that paddy actually remembered my b'day.. then came harshu's wishes... the day continued pleasantly with so many people wishing me, on my b'day and I was overwhelmed..to be honest..
Harshu even went on to send me a nice sexy allen solly perfect fit shirt and then topped it with a gift of sweets from Adyar Anand Bhavan delivered to me on my b'day at my home... (Well harshu lives in mumbai, so imagine the amount of co ordination and planning she would have done to ensure all of her gifts get delivered exactly on the right day.. although she did confess to me later that there were quite a few mixups as well)..
The day was going on fine and I actually started looking forward to the best part of it, which was the evening, wherein I had plans of partying... At work on the prior day (which was a Friday) my company bestowed a beautiful mouth watery cake (Choc Almond) and quite a few of my friends at work had already placed demands for a treat...
Being the perfect "ageing" bachelor that I am, to me parties and treats were never complete, until the beers flowed.. the ever so special key word "Cheers" was uttered... with birthday being a big occasion I was actually looking forward to it...
The clock ticked six and I started calling up the regulars to plan, but to my surprise, one after the other.. one person after the other, sought an excuse, because they had other engagements... I was shocked, disappointed as well.. Not because I didn't have anyone who wanted to come along with me for a couple of drinks.. but because a bigger truth started to dawn on me..
The truth dawned on me... today I had an occasion to celebrate, the money to spend for the celebrations but sadly, I didn't have anyone with whom I could share... I started wondering, tomorrow who knows I might actually see a day, wherein I feel terribly low, and I don't have a shoulder to lean on or vent it out to...
yes I am actually referring to availability of friends.. not to be blaming anyone.. but here I was, left out all alone.. due to circumstances and I couldn't do a thing about it... I felt heavy at heart.. because the one belief to which I have always cling ed to, both during my happy times as well as my sad times, was the fact that I always had my friends around.. but on my birthday, even that belief was shattered beyond repair...
Life for the first time made me realise as to what all I get to have as take aways because of a single most biggest decision I made.. which was to stay a bachelor.. of course lot of people have told me the merits of marriage, but I have always shy ed away from it due to a zillion reasons of my own...
I had embraced bachelorhood with full awareness, but never knew solitude came along with it...
That day I realised, that at the end of the day, no matter whom you have and whom you don't, it all boils down to one thing.. how do you learn to tackle your circumstances...
Reminds me of the words of a friend of mine, who told me... "It is different being alone and different feeling lonely.. so learn to deal with it and don't get sucked in by self pity...".. True words from a man, who has always amazed me with his unique ability to tackle any situations in life.. !
Truely a unique birthday which ended up teaching "me" one of the most toughest lessons of life...!
