About Me

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Lemme keep it simple.. I am what I am.. but for you to form your own version of what I am, you gotta figure out what I am.. and for that you prolly might need to waste some time trying to do that.. but is it all worth the effort... well I dont know.. I leave that to you ! Lot of people in this world are deprived of all that they are eligible, but are still happy with what has been left back... and then there are this other set of people who are blessed with all that one can possibly imagine, but then they arent happy, because they are so worried about figuring out, if they were deprived of something...I fall in the first category, take one day at a time, have plans for the next 4 hours in your life and if you made it safe to your bed that day, without any problems, without any major set backs and with a joy that to someone somewhere, you did do a little something, well, then to me, I lived one more day fruitfully...Ah, too much of philosophy aint it... but that's the way I like it... I would want to be a hero in life, but then again I guess "All heroes become a bore at last"... So I guess I will just be the ordinary person in life, who still can stand out extra ordinary ofcourse...

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Passion re-ignited

Well, its been a while since I nurtured this secret admiration. I havent actually managed to grow it to be honest, but this is something like the typical "Gas trouble in the tummy".. it hardly managed to die off.. Yes I am talking about my reading fetish! After my school days I havent actually read much.. even then it was just a wild craze after all the fiction novels.. from Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot, to the Hardy Boys to Nancy Drew.. just fiction..
This time again it was fiction.. I was supposedly taking a week off from work to hit the roads and chill out in "God's own country.. Kerala" for a week.. This time we had chosen Wayanad..! Just as me any my friend/philosopher/guide/brother/... Arvind decided to hit the roads.. I saw him meticulously pack a couple of books.. Arvind, I must admit is a voracious reader with a big vocabulary base.. so big that I even confuse him with the Oxford dictionary.. hehehehe (I hope he aint reading this.. if so.. sorry sir ji )
When I saw him pack a couple of books, I knew instantly this only meant one thing.. I would be left alone staring at nothing, coz when he dives into books, he normally doesnt pay attention to his surroundings.. So the mitigation plan for this almost sure calamity meant only one thing.. I also had to pick a book.. it was a difficult feeling.. I didnt know if I was even ready to read a book and even if I did, what would I read.. ! I knew zilch about books, authors, story lines, what type of book interests me.. nothing.. Afterall I have been away from books for "light years".. 
With a lot of desperation, I searched through his rack, trying to find out what would I read.. there were so many books in his rack (even though he would say his collection is very small).. I was lost!
Then it happened.. as if by magic..that one book shone like a shining star from the entire lot.. it was Dan Brown's "The lost symbol".. with gleaming eyes I looked at it.. would the lost symbol kindle the lost habit of book reading..? I didnt know.
Atleast I had a consolation with one thing.. I knew Dan brown as a writer through his other book "Da Vince Code".. so it had to be ok types.. I was trying to mentally prepare myself.. The Masons.. Clues.. Robert Langdon.. they were all coming back to me... With a lot of excitement I said.. "That's what I wanna read Arvind.. can I take that book for the trip ?".. Arvind looked at me and with sarcastic smile he said.. "You aint gonna finish that book.. so dont you expect me to let you take that book back home to Chennai.. If you dont finish it, the book stays with me.. because I still havent read it..".. With a big ego on my head I shot back.."Not a problem Sir ji.. I will finish it before the trip itself".. Well I had done my math.. we had 4 days in wayanad and we didnt have too many places to go.. I had no plans to watch TV.. had nothing else to do.. and had tonnes of ciggies to keep me going through out the night, if I wanted.. So what could possibly stop me from finishing off this book I thought..

We reached wayanad and after settling down, I started reading the book.. desperately trying to avoid yawning.. (books have always had that effect on me...) Well, before I even began.. Arvind said.. "hey someone told me the first 40 odd pages, nothing happens.. and oh btw.. dont you dare tell me the story as well".. It was a bit warning for sure...
And so started my journey into the world of "The lost symbol".. over the course of the next two days... it started getting into me.. I was no longer worried about meanings of words (there were a lot of 'em which I didnt know what they meant..).. I was no longer worried about the historic importance or relevance of a lot of things that Dan Brown spoke about.. I had just one agenda.. What is the damn "Lost symbol"... it was a mad rush.. I no longer felt that I wanted to eat.. and I skipped taking the noon siesta's.. ciggies were being burnt like "candles during a power cut night"... The book turned out so interesting that I was not ready to let go of it any more.. Arvind felt pity on me and said.. "You know what.. take the book along with you read it and then return it to me..."...

But that's not what I remembered so much about this book.. more than the ending of the book.. more than the vivid descriptions of each of those monuments in Washington DC.. more than those nail biting action vividly being described.. you know what stuck into my head.. it was in the way in which Robert Langdon kept recollecting events... it got into me so much that.. when I began our return trip in Arvind's Honda City.. I was surprised that I was actually doing the same exact thing like Robert Langdon... 

As the roads of wayanad curled and curved like a big snake slithering in a dense jungle.. I sat in the car..thinking what next was in store for me.. a vacation that was dawning to a close just as the sun was slowly peeping to us, from beyond the clouds.. as if to symbolize an irony.. and mock at me saying.. "Your end marks my beginning"... As we greeted zooming buses, and cars and crawling lorries.. I sat and wondered..

This was some of the lines of text that ran in my head !!

I truely had now revived my fetish for books !

Saturday, September 4, 2010

A gal friend which I wish I never had...

Well, I thought I ought to tell people about my girl friend... Incase you are wondering why, well I would let you find the answer on your own.. rather than me substantiate it..

I met her probably around 10 years back... We bumped into each other by accident.. I wasnt charmed on seeing her.. infact now I can profoundly say, no one even likes her... :)
Her name is Anamika.. Till date I am still trying to find out, why is so damn crazy about me...
At first I thought it was just a crush she had on me, and over time, she would get over it as well.. but as days went by I realised, she had made up her mind about me and had decided to cling to me till eternity.

I must tell you, she's not the most prettiest of girls you would find, she doesnt even have that, the "Gal next door" look.. she's neither "hot" nor is she sweet.. Infact many a times I have got this feeling that she is nothing more than just a "pain in the butt".. if you can call it that way..

Till date I have tried everything to find out, as to why is she so damn crazy about me... but she never has told me.. and I guess she never will.. When she became unbearable and untolerable, I tried a lot of tricks in the trade, to get rid of her..

I resorted to smoking and drinking, coz Indian gals basically hate guys who smoke and drink.. But nope, she wont care a "Dime" about it, but still came back to me with a big smile on her face..

I then thought, maybe I should use the "jealousy" factor... so I started talking to other girls.. just to make her jealous.. I even flirted with other girls, and even resorted to this wierd unheard concept of "parallel love".. (Dont ask me, what the hell does parallel love mean.. because just as you, I havent a clue about it either.. I just now cooked up that word... hehehehe).. Well the jealousy factor wasnt working as well.. she just didnt seem to be bothered... I even asked her once.. hey I thought gals get jealous when they find their boyfriends going around doing the "koochi koochi koo" act with other gals dont they.. ? To which she replied... krish.. you like it or not, I am here to stay with you... and gave me a wicked smile...

I resorted to medication as well, trying all the medicines that would give me immunity from her... but nope.. all my desperate attempts were hitting a dead end and no matter what I did, she would always come back to me.. and drive me nuts...

Many a times, when she has been with me.. I have weeped.. I have cribbed.. I have even bled.. but she just sticks with me, and wont go... If not anything else, I must admit.. damn.. I admire her loyalty to our relationship... even though I would do anything to get rid of her...

She has this weird habit of playing with my emotions and choking me and at other times she gets physical with me which hurts me more...

Today I had gone out, and I was hoping I wouldnt bump into her because these days I yearn more of sometime wherein I neednt deal with her... but out of nowhere she sprung an act of surprise on me, and before I even could say  "Abraca dabra" there she was.. right with me... hurting me... giving me that uncomfortable feeling again... Today infact it was a bit too much for me to handle.. I ended up in tears even while I was driving...

Infact she has been the sole reason for a lot of losses in my life.. I gave up enjoying driving because she was always there with me.. I gave up long travels because I couldnt stand her company... I took to boozing partially because I was trying to get rid of her..

Today, when I look back at these 10 years that I have been with her, and ask myself, has she ever done anything to me at all, which I could call as "Good".. I have just two answers...

  1. She taught me endurance... Now I can withstand her a lot more than what others can, when she is around..
  2. She taught me to smile, at all times, especially when she is around.
Now am sure you must be wondering, why the heck am I still sticking to her.. Why am I not asking her to "Take a hike" and get on with life... Well if I told you some realities about her, you would know why, that is never possible.. Oh that reminds me.. am sure you must have met her as well...

Infact am sure, you must have even had her company at some point or the other...
You would know her by her much more prominent name.... She's called "Pain"..
I just resorted to giving her this much more friendlier name of "Anamika" which means.. one with no name.. anonymous...

Now you know why I cant get rid of her.. dont you :)

Oh btw, I chose to perceive her as my girl friend, not because I am a male chauvenist or anything.. but I just didn't want to sound "Gay" by calling it "my boy friend" :)

Friday, September 3, 2010

An interesting Conversation...

A conversation, worth reading I thought... if not for anyone else, atleast for me...

VRR : So tell me something, what is it that you want from life in the next ten years.
Me : Well, what exactly are you looking for as an answer.

VRR : Well, tell me whatever you feel like saying.
Me : Well, I dont know how to answer that question.
VRR : Well, the typical answer that I get from people everytime I ask this question is.. Oh well, I want a happy life, no problems..everyone should be happy.. blah blah blah..
Me : Umm..that was expected wasnt it ?
VRR : Well, not sure about that. But why is it that no one tells me, in the next 10 years, I want a S class mercedez benz, a 2 ground apartment in Kodambakkam worth 2 crores.. tell me why didnt you say anything like that ?
Me : Well, if you are expecting that sort of an answer, I do have one..which I want as well. I want 25 lacs as bank balance, no loans on my house and no other debts as well. I want to retire at 40 and get settled in an old age home.
VRR : Well, why didnt you wish for a benz or anything like that.
Me : Well, my experiences suggest that with my income, I dont think I will be able to ever achieve it.

VRR : Hmm..that is where the problem starts. What's wrong in wishing ? Do you incur any cost ? Do you lose anything ? No right? Then why cant you wish for big things ? What is stopping you ? The past experiences right ? Let me give you an example.. Lets go back in time some 50 years..50 years back, if you walked to the most learned of men and showed them a Mobile phone and told them, do you know, I can talk to people far off, using this device.. what do you think would be their reaction ? They would laugh at you right ? But even then, someone somewhere believed that this was possible.. someone somewhere dreamt about it, wished for it.. and reality is right now in front of you.
Me : Yeah I got what you are saying.. ok let me ask you something... At times.. I feel handicapped to be honest.. I feel bad at not being able to enjoy as much as my friends.. go places.. try out adventures etc., How do I get rid of this handicap feeling..
VRR : Hmm.. interesting.. let us go through a simple comparison.. Lets take Michael Jackson and Sachin Tendulkar as an example.. We all know MJ can dance like hell.. no one even comes remotely close to him.. We also know Sachin, is an amazing sportsman and there is no one who can be like him.. Here's a comparison.. When compared to MJ, sachin can hardly dance.. which means.. he is kinda person who is handicapped..right ? 
Me : Yeah true.. technically speaking.. lacking an ability would be termed as handicapped right...
VRR : Yes.. now again.. when compared to Sachin, MJ can hardly bat.. right ?
Me : Yeah that's true as well.
VRR : So in dance, Sachin is a handicapped person when compared to MJ. Likewise in cricket, MJ is a handicap when compared to Sachin..
Me : Interesting.. I never thought about that..
VRR : Yes, I know.. Lot of people always stick to comparisons and draw conclusions on their abilities.. Lets take me and you.. You are a handicap in physique when compared to me.. and I am a handicap in intellect when compared to you.. But think deeply.. are we really handicapped ? We arent.. we just have different abilities.. what we all do is.. cling to what we dont have and crib about it.. and let what we have, rot away to all glory.. 
 Me : Gosh! I never realised that..
VRR : Yes, so rather than focussing on your weaknesses, why dont you focus on your strengths...
Me : Wierdly true.. then why is it that I dont feel happy about things.. I feel I dont have friends.. no gal friends... no social life.. I feel happy when am with friends.. but not happy when am alone..

VRR: Have you ever watched a kid ?
Me : Yeah, I have.. but why ask.
VRR : Well, a kid is your ultimate teacher.
Me : What ?
VRR : yes.. a kid is always happy.. its happy when it has company.. its happy when it has no company.. its happy when it has toys to play with.. its happy when it doesnt have any toys to play with.. We were all born with the basic ability to be happy.. but somewhere down the line.. somehow.. we started accumulating garbage.. started coming to conclusions.. and now are in a position wherein we look for happiness externally.. rather than internally.. We feel happy when we get a promotion or when we get a hike.. or when we get a gal friend.. or when we get married.. but the rest of the time, we dont feel happy..
Me : hmmm
VRR : Happiness is a state, which we all know to be at.. its just that we have forgotten to be in that state at all times.. That is why I tell you.. a kid is your best teacher.. there are a lot of things which we should learn from our own childhood.. that is why I tell you..the next time you see a kid.. dont stop with just playing with it.. watch it.. learn from it...
Me : Is that the reason why people say.. "A child and God are one and the same" ?
VRR : Partially yes.. What are the main qualities of God, as you were told or as you know ?
Me : God is always in a state of bliss.. God knows no fear.. God knows no failures..

VRR : Dont you think all these qualities exist in a child as well ? A child is always in a state of bliss too.. A child knows no fear as well, which is why it doesnt get scared to peep out of the balcony or touch a lit candle.. A child also doesnt know what do you mean by failures.. it only knows to try again.. which is why we as children were able to walk.. coz we kept on trying despite falling down umpteen number of times..
Me : Yeah, now I understand.. I must admit.. this did kindle a lot of thoughts in my mind.. I guess I will sit, think through again, digest each and everything slowly...
VRR : Take your time my friend.. You as a human body is a fascinating piece of machinery that creation ever managed to create.. and with a thinking mind, it becomes even more fabulous.. take all your time.. the more you introspect, believe me.. the more you would move towards being in a state of bliss.. Take care my friend..

Friday, August 13, 2010

My 10 Golden Rules of Chat

If the answer to any of the below Questions is "Yes" then Please dont bother pinging me!

1. Are you in the middle of doing something important ?
2. Are you in the middle of a discussion ?
3. Do you forsee someone to stop by at your desk in the next 15 mins ?
4. Are you in conversation with someone else as well,  in your friends list ?
5. Are you watching a movie ?
6. Are you reading something on the net ?
7. Are you playing any games on your computer ?
8. Are you feeling extremely bored and looking for some means to kill time ?
9. Are you unsure if you actually want to talk to me ?
10. Do you have a known chat disorder of talking for 2 mins and then getting lost in your world of thoughts for hours together ?

Read me... try and comprehend me.. try and realise what you just read.. Then proceed !!
Incase you are wondering, what's with me making such a fuss over a stupid chat.. well, the point is simple... I hate conversations which span over hours together, wherein the max you would have spoken would be for a few mins..!

To me chat convos are always supposed to be fluid, continuous and if there is a breakage anywhere, it should be known...
Most of the times, people ping me, and then they are lost... they dont show the basic courtesy of saying "brb" or a "ttyl" or a "bfn" even!! They just ignore the window.. and then go on with their royal lives !! To make matters worse, they are the ones who ping me and not vice versa...! Now am sure you u'stand, why did I have to resort to this ? I kinda got sick and tired of telling people, if you know for a fact you cant talk properly to me, dont bother pinging me itself! But you know how people are!!

So just my way of re-iterating, what I have always said !

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A b'day that taught me a lot

Well, everyone accepts the fact that birthday's are always special, so exciting and so looked forward to.. But somehow down the line I had lost the inborn nature of everyone, and never looked forward to my birthdays.. maybe life took me through some of the most treacherous curves that I stopped believing in special things.. So this birthday of mine was no different.. I kept reminding myself that am too old to be celebrating birthdays.. but harshu (that's my friend) had other thoughts.. maybe it was her age, maybe it was her bubbly nature.. she kicked off a countdown to my birthday and everyday morning and evening kept reminding me of it... I felt it was funny, although it was so cute of her to do it.. Well, the countdown eventually ran out.. and it was finally the dawn of the so called b'day.. Little did I know that the day had a lot of surprises for me, both good and bad...

The day dawned and paddy was the first to give me a call, and claim the title of "First wisher of the day"... I was so happy that paddy actually remembered my b'day.. then came harshu's wishes... the day continued pleasantly with so many people wishing me, on my b'day and I was overwhelmed..to be honest..
Harshu even went on to send me a nice sexy allen solly perfect fit shirt and then topped it with a gift of sweets from Adyar Anand Bhavan delivered to me on my b'day at my home... (Well harshu lives in mumbai, so imagine the amount of co ordination and planning she would have done to ensure all of her gifts get delivered exactly on the right day.. although she did confess to me later that there were quite a few mixups as well)..
The day was going on fine and I actually started looking forward to the best part of it, which was the evening, wherein I had plans of partying... At work on the prior day (which was a Friday) my company bestowed a beautiful mouth watery cake (Choc Almond) and quite a few of my friends at work had already placed demands for a treat...
Being the perfect "ageing" bachelor that I am, to me parties and treats were never complete, until the beers flowed.. the ever so special key word "Cheers" was uttered... with birthday being a big occasion I was actually looking forward to it...
The clock ticked six and I started calling up the regulars to plan, but to my surprise, one after the other.. one person after the other, sought an excuse, because they had other engagements... I was shocked, disappointed as well.. Not because I didn't have anyone who wanted to come along with me for a couple of drinks.. but because a bigger truth started to dawn on me..
The truth dawned on me... today I had an occasion to celebrate, the money to spend for the celebrations but sadly, I didn't have anyone with whom I could share... I started wondering, tomorrow who knows I might actually see a day, wherein I feel terribly low, and I don't have a shoulder to lean on or vent it out to...
yes I am actually referring to availability of friends.. not to be blaming anyone.. but here I was, left out all alone.. due to circumstances and I couldn't do a thing about it... I felt heavy at heart.. because the one belief to which I have always cling ed to, both during my happy times as well as my sad times, was the fact that I always had my friends around.. but on my birthday, even that belief was shattered beyond repair...

Life for the first time made me realise as to what all I get to have as take aways because of a single most biggest decision I made.. which was to stay a bachelor.. of course lot of people have told me the merits of marriage, but I have always shy ed away from it due to a zillion reasons of my own...

I had embraced bachelorhood with full awareness, but never knew solitude came along with it...
That day I realised, that at the end of the day, no matter whom you have and whom you don't, it all boils down to one thing.. how do you learn to tackle your circumstances... 

Reminds me of the words of a friend of mine, who told me... "It is different being alone and different feeling lonely.. so learn to deal with it and don't get sucked in by self pity...".. True words from a man, who has always amazed me with his unique ability to tackle any situations in life.. !

Truely a unique birthday which ended up teaching "me" one of the most toughest lessons of life...!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The day when I declared.. was "My last day"

I was going through my emails archive, and I found an interesting email that I had sent sometime long back. Yes, it was the farewell email that I had sent when I was leaving in  my first company, where I worked for 5 years before I decided to get more adventurous and explore more horizons as well..

So here goes my first ever, Farewell email, as a result of my resignation !

Yes, its time for me to bid farewells and take my leave since this is my last week here in this organization with Friday June 6,2008 being my last day at office.  And I am not sure if this is my last day as a tester. Here on this day, I am recalling my journey so far being a tester for past 5 years. I love bugs, of course I do and it’s because of them I make my living, just the way Doctors make their living because of diseases & cops because of thieves. With that said, I find myself amid this sect of people, who serve the mankind by identifying & getting off the weeds. And that’s what I do…
Service to IT world.

     Building a bridge on river Thames is of course difficult, but much more difficult is to stand up & say to the people “I have tested, it won’t fall.” no matter how many kids in the kindergarten will still rhyme “London bridge falling down” at that moment. Those were my shoulders who took the bottom line responsibilities when I delivered the product. Those will be my
shirt’s collar (again on the same shoulders) which will be caught if something goes wrong in production.
     For developers, I become a menace at times, but the same ‘me’ protected them when customers did not ask them anything but me “Why you did not catch this bug in testing?” It’s true that this job of Testing has given me the liberty to say with confidence to the developer: What’s wrong is wrong, so fix it.

     However this journey of mine as a Tester can never be meaningful, if it had not been for people like you, who taught me, the tricks of the trade, the intricacies of the systems, and all that I today can claim I know about.

     In my short span of 5 years that I have spent here in this organization, I was given a lot of opportunities to learn a lot of new things, understand a lot of things and in the process become a better professional. There have been times, wherein I have troubled you at one point or the other, with my rather naive questions, for which you have been patient enough to listen to me, and also help me out. I take this opportunity to thank one and all, for all that you have done to help me grow as a better person.

     I wouldn't want to wrap it all up with a simple Goodbye, because personally I feel that you bid goodbyes only to people whom you will never meet again. So I am going to just say, until we meet again, sometime, somewhere, somehow, take care. May all good things come your way and also request you to wish me the very best, as I venture out into the unknown, meeting new people, pursuing bigger challenges and in the process trying to become a better person.

 Before I wrap, let me just add that, at any time, if you find sometime and a little thought to spare, please do email me.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The day when I was told.. "You made a difference to us"!

Its friday night... the clock says the time is around 1 in the morning.. I aint asleep yet... Nope.. I aint slogging at work... nor trying to work from home to get things done.. I aint awake coz I aint getting no sleep, coz am stressed out or nothing.. Am awake coz I was moved by something that I saw.. a movie.. a movie named "Gridiron Gang"..
Friday nights have always been pretty mundane.. hang around with friends... let the "elixirs of life" flow.. or slog at office..
Today I had decided to come home and just chill at home..
I was as always channel surfing when I stumbled into this movie on HBO.. titled "Gridiron Gang".. The story line is very special.. An ex football player turned coach who works at a correction center, trains a bunch of teenage boys, who are serving their juvenile crime sentences, into playing football.. and in the name of football teaches these kids what it means to stand up and fight for, in life.. what self esteem is all about.. what does it mean to walk with pride..
The movie actually brought back an interesting incident in my life, which is still vivid in my eyes.. I was so choked up with emotions, that I had to vent it out.. So here's how it goes..
It was the most difficult period of my life.. I was very sick.. survival chances was almost zilch.. I had no clue as to what was wrong with me.. (Now   I am not gonna sit and educate you on the medical terms of what my illness was all about and steal away your reading passion here...) I was in this Intensive Care Unit.. all by myself.. with only the nurses to keep company, and the occasional visit from doctors, who would keep checking on me..
Those were the days, wherein I used to count minutes.. watch the clock for hours and it would just move a few minutes.. Intensive Care Units or ICUs as they are called in this part of the world, have always its own share of intenseness... lives are brought in dangling by the thread.. and the messiahs of God.. the doctors try all their might, to save precious lives.. It was one such day.. around 6.30 PM when I could hear the nurses running helter skelter and I could hear the distant cries of a lady as well... No one would tell me what was going on.. Two days past and on the third day, I saw a lady, with her face all puffed up coz of profuse crying.. peep into my room, because she couldnt bear to hear my wails of pain.. That day I was in a lot of pain, and almost was on the verge of throwing my hands in the air, and asking Lord Almighty.. "I give up.. Now take me back..".
She came next to me, sat next to me, placed her hands on my forehead and said.. "Dont worry son, you will be just fine..." She must have been in her early 40s I thought and she gave a faint smile at me,when I turned to her.. I asked her, what brings you here, and why are you crying.. She just replied, "My son is admitted.. he is sick".. and she went off..
It got me curious, and I started asking the nurses about her son.. At first they hesitated and then told me.. her son had attempted a suicide because of a love failure, and both the girl and her son had been brought to the hospital and were battling for their lives.. I havent actually managed to understand what drives people to suicide, until one day when I almost stood facing it.. (Now that's a different story...). A week later, I learnt her son was progressing well.. He was still in the same ICU.. and one evening he came to visit me. That was the first time I was seeing him. He was all weak, worn out, and very young.. He had just completed his 12th standard.
He came to my bed, sat next to me and we talked. I dont know what got into me, (maybe it was the morphines that I was constantly being given, to curb my pain).. I started talking to him about life.. To this day I dont remember what I spoke to him, but all I remember is, I spoke to him for a very long time. Finally he bid me good night and went to his bed. After a few days I was shifted to the general ward and was moved to a separate room. I had totally forgotten about this boy to whom I spoke to. I was recovering, but very slowly and was still in a whole lot of pain.
One afternoon, a young lady, probably in her 25, walked into my room held me by my hand and said.. "Krish, thank you.. thank you so much".. I was confused. I was already under a lot of sleeping doze and I was still trying to figure out what was reality and what was not. Here was a lady, who knew my name and was thanking me for something which I didnt even know. I looked around to see if I could find my lil girl (that's my mum..). I cudnt find my mum in the room. I asked this lady.."I dont seem to remember you..". She then called a trim looking young man, who walked in with a big smile and said.."Brother remember me" ?? After a lot of thinking I finally recognised him.. He was the same worn out boy to whom I had spoken to in the ICU. My my, I must admit, he had changed a lot. With great enthusiasm he said.."Brother, you know what, I joined Engineering".. I still didnt understand what was going on. His sister then told me something which I still remember "Krish, I dont know what you told my brother, but you gave us our family's hope. We thought we had lost him, when he attempted the suicide and didnt know how to talk him through. You did that.. You made him realise life's importance and its meaning.. Now I have two brothers, including you".. So saying, she took out a silver ring, that she carefully gift wrapped, and put it onto my fingers. By then my mum had come. She told my mum.."Aunty, you have a very responsible son".. My mum was in tears, but I was still not sure what was going on..

Tonight as I watched that movie, wherein Rock, who plays the coach role, walk past the "Gridiron gang" team, who manage to win a match, with a smile on his face, depicting that satisfaction of having made a difference in life, it brings back memories of one of the very few people, who ever came and told me "Krish, you made a difference in our lives.."..

Friday, March 12, 2010

The day I bid to folly

It was a typical friday morning.. the weekend was just around the corner and grinning at me.. ! As always I was hooked up to my lappie for two reasons.. 1) To check and see if there were any critical or important mails in my office mailbox.. and 2) To work on my farm on farmville.. lol.. Yes, very recently a very nice person, introduced me to this and ever since I been addicted to farmville.. sad part is I never get enough neighbours.. for whatever reasons I wouldnt know.. lol..

Coming back to the story.. so I was logged into facebook and was doing the routine stuff of fertilising my neighbours farms, when I saw this AD appear on facebook which said.. Apple iPhones at 25 paise.. !! Normally I overlook such ads, because at the back of the mind I always have this fear, that I might end up in a phishing website.. but as they say curiosity kills the cat.. ! I became curious and clicked on it to see what was in store for me.. It was a penny auctions website, and I was looking around at the site and saw that offer again.. Imagine.. a 40+k iPhone being put up on auction for a mere 25 paise !! Greed overtook me, and I decided to try my luck as well... I quickly signed up to this website, and decided to bid for it as well.. the said asked me to confirm my mail ID before I get 1 "free" bid, that I could use.. in a jiffy i confirmed my email ID, earned my free bid, and with a valorous grin, click on the bid button.. and voila!! I was the top person on the bid list.. The item had just another 30 minutes to go before the auction expires and I was getting excited.. I sat glued to my lappie, staring at it.. 10 minutes past.. and gosh ! someone else bid for it as well.. I was panicked.. I couldnt let go of it.. I immediately looked around in the site, to figure out, how to get more bids.. and that was where I fell into the trap.. !!

The site said.. I could "Buy 12 bids" at 690 rupees.. If it was me in full senses, I would have probably said "bugger off"!! But here I was in a frenzy.. I had to win this auction.. I didnt know what took over me.. I decided to go ahead and buy 12 bids... I found that the auctions site, offered paypal.. I had a paypal account.. I immediately was on the way to checkout using paypal, trying to buy it.. but some thing happened, and my checkout failed.. the omens were all telling me... "Dude, stay out.. you are being a complete jack-ass!!".. but I wasnt to be seeing it.. I came back to the auctions site, chose credit card as the payment method and in a flash, had made the payment and got 12 bids, to my account.. I was now a triumphant man !! I immediately went back to the iPhone auction and clicked on Bid button.. phew! my name was again on the top of the list..

I sat and waited.. every minute seemed like an hour to me.. I could hear my mum yelling out.. "Kanna.. you are running late to work, its 9.45".. I wasnt paying any attention to her words.. as the minutes slowly ticked by, and I was in the last minute, before the auction expired and that glamourous iPhone was mine..! it was close to just 5 seconds before  it expired.. it was like watching a cricket match.. yes yes.. the India Pakisthan match ofcourse.. !

That was when I was taken by surprise.. I was shocked.. someone else bid for it.. and the timer reset itself back to 20 seconds.. I hit the bid button frantically.. my first paid bid was gone and to make things worse, I now had another dude/dudette competing with me.. it was like a do or die situation for me.. and that was when the whole thing hit me.. I could see atleast a dozen people bidding one after the other... I bid.. and bid.. and bid.. I had exhausted 4 of my bids and there was still no signs of the auction closing.. the price of the item was only increasing by "a paisa" for each bid.. I decided to calm down, wait and watch.. minutes ticked by in a flash.. 15 minutes were gone and the bid game was still on... I was running late for a Call.. I had to decide to give up... that was when I started feeling miserable.. 700 hard earned rupees blew off in a flash, and I didnt even buy anything, not even a dress, nor spend it for my parents or my friends .. not for a movie.. not in a restaurant.. I blew it away in an internet gamble.. ! I felt like kicking myself, for the folly that I had committed.. I could even hear Manmohan Singh talking about Economic policies and inflation and what not.. (dont ask me, why was I hearing all that.. I have no clue..)

Just 30 minutes, back I was explaining to my dad, how such bidding websites, trap you, into spending all your money.. and what happens.. 30 minutes later, I fall for the same trap.. I could even literally see all those proverbs which talk about hard work being the only way to come up in life .. ! I felt like I had committed a heinous crime.. ! I came to work with a heavy heart of being a complete idiot.. and promised myself.. never again will I try my hand at my luck.. and never get into bidding things, without completely understanding the entire thing.. !

I checked the same website by noon, and to my surprise, the bidding was still going on for that item.. from 25 paise, the price had come to 8.50 rupees and was still going on.. I checked a couple of minutes back.. the auction finally closed, at 10.41 rupees.. and someone won that 44k iPhone at a meagre 10 rupees !!! That was more than what I could handle..
Sigh.. ! Imagine, what all greed makes you do...

Monday, March 8, 2010

My first interview

It was yet another lazy sunday morning, and I didnt have too many entries in my usually lengthy "To-do" list at home.. I was just to go and get a decent summer friendly hair cut and that's it... It was around 9 in the morning and I was still happily sleeping.. but nope.. she cant stand that.. She wont miss a chance to ensure that, she pours a big bucket of cold water, literally on this happiness of mine.. Yup.. am talking about my mum... She came and yelled..."Wake up... its 9 in the morning"... After the regular mundane routine of brush thy teeth, wash thy face, read newspaper.. I decided to watch some movie on my lappie... There wasnt much to watch on TV either, so I decided to stick to watching some movie on the lappie.. "Three idiots" was the unanimous choice.. Though I had watched this movie a couple of times, I decided to enjoy "Chathur Ramalingam's " astonishing hindi accent...
        This time as I watched the movie.. I suddenly realised that I was seeing bits and pieces of my ever green first interview experience... as I watched "Raju Rastogi" take his interview.. So I decided to share it with all my readers.. (yeah yeah, I know I aint got a crowd but still...) Here it goes...
      It was the month of March way back in 2003... I had come to Chennai to attend my first ever interview with an MNC, accompanied by my father.. I had been stuck to bed for the previous three months due to a severe leg problem and after a lot of pondering and debating, I had decided to give this interview a shot...
       It was the day of the interview and my friend Iyer (that's srikanth) had agreed to come along.. So I set off, clad in a black pant, a white shirt (which wierdly had a big flower design on it), no tuck in, with an elbow crutch... We arrived in Tidel Park, and as my friend was busy trying to figure out the formalities to get in, I was simply lost, gaping at this huge building, which I had only seen in television...! I was thrilled, not because I was getting to attend the interview at such a big place, but because of the fact, that I was entering into this building which among my friends back in hometown was an achievement by itself.
         We figured out which floor we were to go, and I for the first time in my life was seeing an escalator and an automatic lift! The child in me was running around all over the place, dumbstruck by the pomp and glory of this place...I was actually inside the premises of an IT park.. ! Yay!! I kept telling myself..
         We reached the floor and I was shocked...!! There were close to around 150+ folks.. I told my friend... "Iyer, dont expect me to make it through... I came here just for the sake of it..I dont stand a chance".. to which he replied... "No problem mate... Just go and have fun".. Round 1 was a written test, and the results told me I was through, which to me was a big surprise... Round 2 was a group discussion.. 150+ folks, were now reduced to a mere 15 people, from which I was told that 7 of 'em would be short listed.. I wasnt too worried about being selected or not selected, because my biggest aim in life had been fulfilled.. I always wished to just be in a software company atleast for a day.. and here I was, living that wish ! Round 2 was to be a group discussion and our group was asked to debate over "Should Indian cricketers be allowed to act in Ads".. well I had been in bed for 3 months and the only thing that I had done was watch cricket.. so I was happy..phew! atleast not a difficult topic... The group discussions were over, and I was told to wait in this big glass door room with the rest of the people.. while everyone was busy introducing and getting introduced, I was sitting there lost in my own world, swaying on those world class ergonomic chairs... someone sitting next to me asked me curiously.. "What are you doing mate?".. All I could do was smile and reply back.. "Living my greatest wish"... am sure he never understood what I meant... !
                Now it was time for the last round of interviews, wherein I learnt that we had to go through the Director... I sat and nervously waited for my turn... and finally I was called in... I saw a tall man with glasses sitting in the room and asked me to come in.. I politely apologised for coming into an interview in a typical Non professional manner, and explained him the "Flashback"... since I was a fresher he didnt ask me much on the technical side, but just asked me as to why was I carrying an elbow crutch and its story..After listening to it fully, he said.. Ok.. we will get back to you on this... I timidly asked him.. "Sir.. Can I ask you something..".. He said "Sure thing.. go ahead".. I said.. "Sir, I think I was pretty blatant in explaining my past, do you think it was correct to be honest or, do you think I should have subdued the facts..".. He just smiled and replied.. "Am glad you were honest.. Stick to it.. Its a lot more easier"..
              Three days later, when I was informed that I got the job and was asked to come to the same place again to collect my Offer letter.. my father decided to tag along with me... Karthik Sir... (I still call him that way...) called me in and handed me over the offer letter and was busy explaining to me the HR policies.. but he noticed I wasnt paying any attention... I was busy counting.. He stopped and asked.."What are you doing".. I replied.."Sir I am trying to find out, how much am I gonna get every month"... to which he replied.. "Oh that..atleast 15k"... I was shocked..."15k was what I used to earn in a computer center in a year".. I timidly asked him.. "Sir, really am gonna get that much"... he burst out in laughter and asked.. "Who is that elderly gentleman who has come with you..."..I replied, that's my dad.. He said.. "Go tell him, you got the job and this is what your salary is...".. I rushed out to tell my father I had finally got my job....All I could see was, his eyes in tears.. but he wouldnt show it... He had a shy smile on his face and said.. "Kanna, come let's go home..."...
              This entire scene was flashing in front of my eyes, as I watched Raju Rastogi, take his interview... I paused the movie for a second, for my eyes were moist... and sat to think... that's what some movie makers do to you, while you watch, what they claim is a figment of their imagination... !

Monday, March 1, 2010

The weekend getaway to Yelagiri !!

Well, it was the time for the much awaited weekend getaway, a trip to the local hillstation..."Yelagiri".. Well to those of you who dont know much about this place, here's a little background. Yelagiri is a small hill station right after Vellore and is around 235 kms from Chennai. The place is so poised that its almost a bike drive from Bangalore... well as all of my other trips, this trip too had its own share of confusions and questions lingering around all over it, as to whether it would happen or not.. but then again, I was determined to see that this does happen and thanks to Rose and his co-operation in sharing the same determination it finally happened.
So it was Saturday morning and I heard the distant voices of a familiar voice which whispered.."Kanna get up, its 6 in the morning, you were supposed to be getting up..".. yup after a few repeated calls, I realised it to be the much familiar voice of my in house emperor Mr. mahadevan, my father.. !
As always I tried convincing myself that I ought to get out of bed and start getting ready.. and finally by around 7.30 AM I was all set to leave from home. I was to drive down to Rose's house in Anna Nagar (its around 20+ kms from my place) and I was looking forward to this drive for a couple of reasons, the biggest of them being I would get to drive the "Trail Blazer"... (hold on, I can see you scratching your head pondering over the fact as to what the heck is this trail blazer.. well its my new Suzuki access 125 cc). So I switched on the "Kung Fu Panda".. (lol, there you go again scratching your head.. relax.. KungFu Panda is the name I gave to my mp3 player, coz trust me or not, it still makes me believe, that there is no special ingredient in life.. now dont ask me what does that mean... its a feel good factor man.. duh !!)
So as I literally swayed to to Greese is the word and literally did some head movements as MJ sung Smooth criminal, I was zooming past the lazy morning traffic of chennai. I had messaged rose that I would reach his home in an hour and guess what.. I managed to live up to the timings... and I reached his area by around 8.30. It was time for a quick cancer stick break and while I enjoyed the first puffs, I called up Rose to get directions to his home.. I was actually standing a couple of buildings away from his home. So after the fags, I reached Rose's place.. Gosh! his house was a real big one and there I could see the mean beast of the roads.. his brand new Skoda Laura, waiting to greet me and I could even hear it say.. "So mate.. you all set for the cruise.. you have no idea as to how royally I can treat you..." !! Yippie.. I was literally jumping around at the mere thought of hitting the Bangalore highways, in this "Smooth Criminal".. (hehehehe... you guessed it right.. thats the name I gave to his car.. coz its damn smooth and it can be a real bad guy on the roads..) Rose greeted me at the doors wearing half trousers.. lol.. yeah it was the first time I was seeing him in the non professional attire.. (I am so used to seeing rose dressed up all like the perfect professional, that it took me time to adjust to this scene...)
The doctor in the house.. (yup... thats Mrs. Rose) treated me with a fabulous cup of a strong tea and while I sipped it enjoying the taste, Rose got ready and so was the lil P.C Shriram.. yeah that would be bittu as he is so profoundly called at home.. Ryan.. Rose's son..) So after all the tata bye byes send off ceremony we finally hit the road at around 9 AM.. and soon we hit the highways.. I was still exploring the luxuries of his car, coz trust me, it had so many things in it and his car managed to keep me dumbstruck and filled with awe almost throughout the journey..
Well the drive was the part that was filled with ecstacy to me atleast... Bittu was busy giving directions to his dad and hand picking cars on the road, which he wanted to be overtaken by Rose.. and I sat and watched this Ferrari race driver team, zoom past those vehicles with ease.. Bittu I figured, was a lot more educated about cars than me.. even though I was close to almost 5 times his age, I knew barely anything on cars.. He could identify any brand of cars that he saw and was discussing about BMWs while I was with great difficulty busy trying to keep up to speed with these guys... and while we discussed about a lot of things at work, about music, about politics and what not, before we realised we had reached Vellore, our first pit stop.. not for a break but to pick up a very close school mate of Rose... the one and only Balaji... I was actually happy for the fact that despite these guys being only school friends, these guys were making it a point to meet up after such a long time, which I thought was very unique...
Soon we picked up Balaji and after the initial hesitations, Balaji and me were chatting away to all glory.. Balaji knew a lot about music, atleast a lot more than me and he and rose were discussing the technical nuiances while the skoda was playing the ever green kamal hassan hits composed by the one and only.. the great maestro Ilayaraja himself...
Bittu was getting all worked up coz he was looking forward to the hair pin drive that Yelagiri hills had to offer and we still werent getting there.. Finally we started our journey upward towards the Yelagiri hills and we hit the first hair pin bend.. unlike the other hair pin bends (the only other hill station i have visited was Yercaud and my comparisons are only with respect to that place..) here they had named each and every hair pin bend after a famous tamil poet.. so we were crossing the kambar bend and then the thiruvalluvar bend and then the bharathiyar bend and so on.. there were 14 bends of them in total and as well ascended up the hill, the view was simply fantastic.. and to add to it, we would bump into a pack of monkeys along with their families and the little ones playing around.. Bittu was all excited...
We reached the Yelagiri hill tops by around 2.30 I guess and went straight to the lodging we had booked.. which was Golden Nest.. it seemed pretty new and even though it was extremely hot outside, it was really cool inside the rooms. We were given this one big room with 4 cots and bittu jumped in to reserve his bed.. a pretty decent lodging I thought.. we were told that they would provide dinner based on orders but didnt have anything to offer for lunch.. So we decided to walk to the nearby hotel.. Hotel yelagiri.. the place was a down to earth place, but the full meals.. (yup unlimited full meals) was damn good especially the "meen kuzhambu" and the "chicken kuzhambu".. surprisingly rose announced that he was going to be a strict veggie and stuck to the veggie version of it, while me and Balaji had a go at the omlettes and the fish frys.. and even lil bittu had a go at 'em as well.
After lunch it was a siesta time, and before I realised I was snoring away to all glory.. while Rose and Balaji were busy catching up of all the latest and greatest in their lives..I woke up around 5 PM and the first thing Balaji told me was.. "You were snoring a lot man".. lol.. I was a bit embarrassed and immediately asked Rose.. "Rose how do I fix this snoring to which Rose calmly replied.. reduce weight..." and that was the end of my quest in curbing the snoring.. lol ! That was quick wastnt it.. !
Well in the evening Bittu was all ready to go and take the boat rides and we made it to the lake by around 5.30 only to be told that the boat ride was closed for the day, because of the lack of boatsmen (there was just one guy who was frantically doing trips and the guys at the counter decided to give the boatsman a break...) Bittu was disappointed and so were we, but then again the sight at the lake shores lightened me up.. hehehehe.. yup.."Ladies.. Ladies..".. lots of 'em.. good looking.. so it was time for the only bachelor in the group.. (Bittu aint eligible you know, coz of his age factor.. hehehehehe) to do some "Sight Seeing...". So I told Rose to take Bittu around the park, and Balaji agreed to accompany his pal, while I was busy looking around... lol.. But the view at the lake was simply amazing.. even though its a very small lake, the waters were doing their magic to me.. and I soon was lost in their tiny waves, cherishing every moment of silence and peace that they had to offer me, and before I realised I was in a trance kinda mental state.. It actually took the giggles and sweet voices of a very pretty lady to shake me out of it.. lol.. yup.. there was a couple.. and the lady was extremely pretty... it reminded me of the famous Onida TV's ad.. "Neighbours envy, owner's pride.." and I could see it in the guy.. that was the first time, wherein I also for a split second felt.. "Marriage is good..." lol...
Well it was getting dark, so I decided to move on (even though I didnt want to.. for various obvious reasons ofcourse) and so we headed back to the hotel, even as Bittu was still running around all over the place, grinding his father with rapid fire questions and Rose, as patiently as he always is.. was answering him. The scene reminded me of my good old days of train travel, wherein through out the night, I would sit with my father and keep asking him a zillion questions while he patiently replied to all of it.. I guess when it comes to their children all fathers are like that.. which also made me sad.. coz these days I never seemed to show the same patience when he asks me a question... I had to be a lot more patient with my father I thought... lol, look at how many thoughts I already managed to stir up....
We reached the hotel, and Rose went on to remind those guys about the dinner.. (We had already given our menu to those guys in the noon itself and it was time for reminder 1). Rose had to go meet his another school mate's folks who were living in yelagiri.. (infact it was them who helped in arranging for the accomodation and all that).. while I chose to stay back at the hotel, coz I needed to stretch my legs.. so I was busy watching TV and they were playing this movie.. "Never been kissed" on STAR Movies..
Close to around 8 Rose came back from the visit and Bittu had almost gone to bed, even while he was walking back.. food was still not ready and for the first time in all these 7 years, I saw something that I never had seen before.. "Rose was worked up and was yelling at those people for not preparing atleast that one dosa which bittu wanted to eat".. Finally food did arrive by around 8.30 but by then the lil master was fast asleep.
We all had our dinner and after talking for almost close to 4 hours we finally fell asleep... the climate had become extremely pleasant and there was a tint of chillness in the air even..
Sunday morning Bittu I guess was the first to wake up, and I woke up after Rose.. Balaji was the last to greet the morning sunshine..
We all had our coffees, and ordered for the breakfast.. (this time those guys were really on the alert and brought everything 10 mins ahead of the time they had promised.. lol.. that's what an active vocal customer can do to speed up things I thought..)..Rose was busy getting lil bittu all set for the day.. and while Rose was having his bath, I casually decided to strike a conversation with Bittu... I asked him.. "Hey why did you not wake up yesterday night despite your father waking you up so many times..".. to which he replied in a typical tamil hero accent.."I was tired you know".. then I asked him, so all set for the boating today..to which he replied..."Boating and all next, first thing.. visit to Church.. its Sunday remember.. first you have to go church, all other things only after that..".. I was like shocked.. whoa !! this lil guy was all devotional at this tender age...
Rose came out, got ready and the father son pair drove off to the church while me and Balaji lazied around in the room talking about music and all other stuff...Finally we got ready.. and by then Rose had also returned.. We checked out of the hotel and then went over to the same lake, for the boating trip.. Bittu was all energetic and was jumping all over the place in excitement.. now here's the confession part.. I was the only chicken in the group, who was shit scared about boating.. I tried expressing it in a subtle manner.. but only later realised that the fear was like written all over my face.. and was so evident that Balaji casually turned to me and asked.." Boss are you scared of water..." lol...
Our boatsman we learnt, was a kid doing his plus one, who was being responsible to his family and doing this as a part time job.. for whatever reasons of his.. ! He with great expertise rowed us into the lake and then told us something which got me so scared, i even refused to move a muscle..Rose was the culprit here, coz he was the one who asked this question to that guy.. Rose asked him.. "Thambi, how deep is this lake.." to which he casually replied.. "Only 40 feet sir..".. that was enough to literally cling to Balaji.. Bittu on the other hand was so busy playing in the boat, he had his hands in the water and was busy picking leaves from the water, while i was like stuck to the boat and frantically praying that this boating trip be over... I had made one point clear to rose.. he was to snap pics of me, as many as possible, all with my coolers on.. lol !! Yeah yeah, I can hear you say... "Why advertisement!!".. hehehehe
Finally it ended, after the boatsman giving me a heart attack when he literally rammed into another boat and these two boatsman were involved in a friendly debate about some stuff, while I was desperately trying to tell them.. "Guys, whatever be your indifferences, can we please settle it on the shores".. to which the other guy replied.. "No sir.. it has to be settled right here in the middle of the lake.." So saying he gave a tug at our boat, which sent it jostling.. and i was like literally holding balaji's hands tightly... Am sure Balaji must have thought, look at this guy, he looks like a big donkey and still is so scared about just a boat ride.. !!  (Rose, find out if that was the case and let me know will you... so that I can cook up a good excuse to present before balaji the next time I bump into him...lol..
We then headed back to a restaurant.. Hotel Surabi, had our lunch and then started the descend from the Yelagiri hills...while rose drove the car, bittu was enjoying the view from the top of the car..I was busy capturing all the visuals into Rose's camera... During our drive back, it was time to put on some real dhin chak music, so I hooked on the KungFu Panda onto the Smooth Criminal's auxillary input.. (better remember who is KungFu Panda and who is Smooth Criminal..else am gonna have to make u read this all over again... understood ???? ).. First on the cards was "Hakuna Matata..." from the Lion King.. that was for lil bittu.. followed by "I Like to Move it Move it.." from Madagascar.. (thanks to Arvind for introducing me to this song..).. after that followed some scores by Abba, and then Greese title song, MJ's all time hits viz., Beat it, Dangerous, They dont care about us, Smooth Criminal.. followed by a whole bunch of only English songs... yup.. only englipikeesh songs.. you know.. lol !!
We dropped off Balaji in his home at Vellore and then headed home, with a big smile on our faces, coz it was a great weekend.. but also with a small frown.. damn we were returning back to the hustles and buzzes of Chennai...

There you have it folks.. that was my weekend getaway to a small hill station.. yelagiri.. !!!

Enough of reading, now get back to work will you.. lol... !! Just Kidding.. :p

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The day I abandoned someone that I loved !

Am I victimized as well ? Did I lose the touch after the initial feel and experience of it ? Duh.. I havent a clue, but its been quite sometime since I penned anything I thought.. !
Well life hasn't been going that great as well.. But there is just one thing that happened, that in a way did affect me.. for the better or for the worst.. that I would leave time to decide.. It was the day, when my buddy, my love... my faithful companion, who after being with me for 6 years, was being dumped by "me".. Yes.. I decided to abandon him, coz of the simple reason, he was giving me headaches... !!
Well, am talking about my activa.. my very own "Civilized beast" as I so profoundly call him.. Well, its been almost close to a year since I have been contemplating over this.. but then I decided it in a flat 15 minutes, that I was going to let him go... The day when I went to the showroom to get my new Suzuki Access... (I decided to call him the "Trailblazer"..lol).. I was supposed to be handing over the Activa to them.. I was all excited because I was gonna get my new vehicle, a grey colored Suzuki Access 125CC... but when the guy came over to me, got the keys from me and went off in my activa, that was when it hit me.. I was missing him.. I dont know why, how or when, but I guess I had built up a bond with that guy... and now in a flash he was gone.. I dont know if I am ever gonna see him again or not... But I guess.. I do miss..."The Civilized Beast"...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Late Nights at work...

Well, its nearing 10.20 PM and I am still at my desk, talking to the "Idiot Box" (I call my comp like that.. dont ask me why) and desperately trying to get done with my tasks. Sadly I noticed that I am out of cancer sticks as well.. darn !! This makes me sit back and think (while my script is running in the background.. and oh btw, one run takes 20 mins.. gosh !! can you believe that), what's with late nights and IT professionals.. ?
Time and again, when I used to work in Tidel Park, and was obsessed with doing late nights, everytime I used to come out for a break, I would see the entire smoker's arena, buzzling with activity ! Well, night shifts could be one of the reasons, but the other reason that frequently comes to my mind is.... tight deadlines... ! Which makes me sit and think, do we always run behind impossible deadlines to get deliveries "Delivered" ?? I dont know about you, but personally I have always felt, its the never ending urge to never say "No" when work is assigned to you, for something that has "That is totally impossible given the short time" phrase written all over it !!
A question to introspect, how many times have you wanted to say, Nah.. thats totally not possible, but still felt yourself jumping out of your seats and saying "Oh yes, that can be done" and then walking out of the meeting room with this utmost deepest and most wanting urge to kick yourself for having said that... ! I have always been a workaholic, apart from being addicted to a whole bunch of other things (which I wouldnt want to confess in a blog that is.. lol !), but even otherwise, I must admit I have made this blunder many a times. Dunno if this is the case with us Indian folks in general or if this just one of those wildest perceptions of mine, but I have always noticed that even before we do our ground work which in general terms is called as "Feasibility" we jump to a task and commit our utmost dedication to it.. maybe its the question of "Ego" or maybe its the question of "Reputation" or even sheer bragging, but the point is, we dont seem to be doing our due diligience !
On the other hand, I have watched a lot of Americans work in a different way... In one such situation, we had an emergency at work at we needed a system admin to show up immediately to fix an issue, but it was a weekend and when we did manage to reach out to the person, he politely and in a very politically correct manner expressed his inability to show up at work, because he was busy taking his weekend time off.. !! That made me wonder, had I been in such a situation would I have said No.. I guess not...
That makes me come to the most important question, why do we slog like this ? Why do we always race against tough deadlines... Well the answer is pretty simple. When tasks get assigned to people, and deadlines fixed against them, the people doing the allocation work, always take away atleast 10% of the allotted time and give us only 90% of the time to wrap it up. This in a way is very good, because we are planning for untoward emergencies. But sometimes this backfires when the person doing the estimation and the person who is actually running around trying to get the job done are two completely different set of people, who in no way interact with each other.. ! Ouch. !! that sounds scary doesnt it.. imagine a situation wherein I am giving an estimate of 10 weeks as the time required to build a "NASA space rocket" when I have no clue about rocket building nor have I spoken to people involved in rocket building and gotten their opinions.. Its a tough decision to be honest.. How much of time is required to wrap up something is always apart from being a "Hot question thrown at an interview" also something which requires a lot of experience, a lot of common sense and not to leave out, a lot of discussions between all the folks working on a task...
We all know there is a problem, but its the same thing again "Who will tie the bell to a cat".. I have now begun to sit up and think, why I do I make blunders when telling someone as to how much of time do I require to get done with a task.. and then end up slogging just to ensure that I keep up my word.. Well reality check.. I think I have found my answer... In my case it has always been the sheer ego... "What will people think about my abilities if I say I require more time to get done with a task" that sort of an attitude.. Its very bad to be honest, because to be honest, in a professional world, no one actually cares for others abilities in such minutest details... I have been living in a fool's paradise.. and what adds fuel to this fire ?? Guess what, everytime when someone says, "Oh Krish, well I know he can get this done in a couple of hours".. that's what makes me do the same blunder.. I seem to be getting carried away.. which I have now decided to fix...

All that said and done, as I decide to wrap up this post as well as my day at work.. ask yourself.. "Why do you slog at office" ??

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

My New Year Love

     Well, new year to a lot of people am sure would have begun in whole lot of different ways... To me this new year beginning was totally different and unique as well I must say.. This new year I experienced what all the movie makers so profoundly portray as "Love at First Sight"... Yup... it was Friday morning on Jan 1st, and as always I was browsing through some portals looking for something... you know.. the kind of a casual net surfing thing... that was when I stumbled into her in a portal... Her pic was so gorgeous.. the write up on the profile got me interested... I read through and almost instantly fell in love with her... after that, it was what all the love smitten people describe as "The painful wait in love"... after three days finally I got to meet her... she was even more gorgeous than how she looked in the pic.. she was neatly wrapped... and she came with a 2 year warranty... yippie.. just as they had promised on the portal on her profile... I even named her instantly.. I called her "Kung-fu Panda"...
Am sure you must be in a shemozzle now... and wondering.. what the heck does this guy mean by "She came with a 2 year warranty".. and are the gals actually putting up warranty periods as well on the matrimonial sites even.. sheesh !! (I can see that surprised look on your face even)! Relax.., let me explain.. well I was as I said, doing some casual browsing, when I stumbled into this beautiful mp3 player from transcend, Transcend MP650.. a sexy 8GB ivory colored piece, which works as a mp3 player, has a built in FM Radio, can store data just as pen drive, can do recordings for you, and comes bundled with software that lets you even lock your desktop or laptop... kind of a personalised key for your own lappie.. now aint that cool... I fell in love with this thing almost instantaneously.. the minute I laid my eyes on it.. just something that I guess I was wanting to have, but never bothered to look around.. priced at Rs. 2,750 this is a pretty cool mp3 player... I was sitting on my laptop from morning 6 AM trying to put all the songs into it, so that I can sway to the beats of my favorite songs, which I tussled with my scripts and got them to work.. and by around 9 I was almost completely done.. It comes with a USB cable which you use it to charge it (yup it runs on a rechargeable lithion battery).. you can also on an alternative, buy a AC charger for USB devices and then plug this into an AC power supply directly...
    I was feeling a bit low, off late, but my dear "Kung-Fu Panda" surely got me all excited and enthusiastic... and oh by the way, just incase you were wondering, what's with the name "Kung-Fu Panda" being given to this player.. well, couple of reasons... first being, I loved that movie.. and second was because, I loved the core concept of the movie.. which was "There is no special ingredient".. its the belief that makes something special.. on a quick glance this mp3 player is no big deal, and am sure there are better ones available in the market, but to me this one is.. which now explains why I feel this as the special ingredient, which cheered me up on the first week of a brand new year.. !!

So there you have it... Krish.. finally found.. "yet" another true love.. ! Lol.. !!!